Traveling is good for the soul…

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Well… finally I am traveling again… and it’s a really exciting experience, my first long haul with my littleone… very happy and settled in for our 3 weeks and time in the snow… I love teaching my children to Ski… so so unbelievably grateful for this change in my life… as I prepare to open a new chapter… I will miss living in Australia, but I will always have one foot there.. it’s amazing how peacefull we feel when stress and trauma leave your life ❤️

The Invitation🙏🏼💕

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I love the poem below… it is truly one of the most expressive that I’ve read and opens  my soul to the questions within it❤️

The Invitation 🙏🏼💕

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

By ~ Oriah ~ http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

You may be the light at the end of the tunnel – from the book ~ The Motive

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I am about to publish my latest book.

“The Motive of the conversation” this is a short piece from it… my thanks to PW for the final 3 chapters, you made a huge difference in the essence of the book and the ending of it…. I will always be truly grateful for your moment in my life and the words it created in this book!

 

“Becoming the light at the end of the tunnel… from the Motive…”

I read a piece by another journalist recently about the loss of life in the Middle East, I am left wondering how much of today’s global trauma is going unreported or even worse being miss reported so that others may benefit… I’m writing this specific chapter whilst sitting on a flight… As I’ve spent time travelling more over the past 10 years and especially this past 4 years I’ve become increasingly more aware of the lack of interpersonal skills our species has… Whilst I sat down and introduced my self to my fellow passenger, and asked him what he did and where he was heading, I watched others almost squirm with discomfort as they avoided eye contact in the vain hope that I would not engage them in the same conversation. 

But, I’m me, I’m not going to let these guys off so easily, I’m sharing well over half a day of my life with them and want to know who they are… More importantly I want them to know who I am… What has become deeply evident as I write this book and take this journey is that we let the opportunity to experience life at its most precious by forgetting our social need to interact with others… I’ve met some amazing people whilst traveling and now have some really lovely friends because of the willingness to just share a conversation… 

As I looked around the 747 that I’m sitting in, I was also reminded how precious life is, over 400 people all trusting their lives to the skills of the crew and the reliability of the maintenance team that keep these machines in working order… Yes, we are all partners on this journey, bound by one simple need, a need to get to our destinations safety and in one piece.. My love and respect for the crews that keep us safe has over the years of travel has become deeply engrained into my thoughts, and I am always grateful for them, even when they are exhausted and mentally worn out from grumpy passengers… Today’s experience is no different, amazing people who simply care about us as passengers and people. And as I endure weeks of travel and multiple international flights I am reminded to both appreciate and thank them. 

I smiled as I imagined other species of our planet traveling as a group, being a dog owner I let my thoughts wonder… Often watching my own pup happily run up the beach to sniff, greet and play with another dog… At 11 months and 47kg he’s not a small puppy, but he is a puppy and all he’s interested in is playing… Fortunately my fellow beach bums and their dogs are as relaxed as Budda and I, and will often just let the dogs get on with the job of sniffing each others butts and then running up and down the beach like puppies should… The ironic aspect of all of this stuff and why this book exists is because of us… People, our misconception that we know better… I’ve experienced this first hand as a dog owner… Having a “big bread” dog comes with some social responsibility, training them and also more importantly the people who interact with them. I was reminded of this recently as I walked my boy into the off leash dog park at the Brisbane markets, a place that I visit occasionally on a Saturday morning. This has been very social part of my own and my puppies life, in fact I have walked my other dogs at this particular venue. Except this specific day I was reminded that we “people” are sometimes simply lost to the sociability of other species of our planet. 

As my pup walked around the park partaking in the social aspect of being a dog, making sure he had pee’d up every tree, and the occasional person and small dog, something that still makes me laugh and think of budda’s granddad.. My old dog Valentino…  I was confronted by the indifference our own species can occasionally create. My boy trotted over to sniff the butt of a small fluffy white dog, and before he had gotten within 10 feet of the other dog the owner yelled at him and had picked up his dog. Hmmm… The reaction creating a little bit more interest from Budda who then wanted to engage in what he thought was a game… Only to be verbally and physically abused.. I wondered over to this man, and asked him what was wrong. To be told that dogs like mine should be banned… By now Budda was sitting along side of me tail wagging wondering what all the fuss was about and when he was going to be able to sniff the butt of the fluffy white dog, or maybe pee on it… And I quietly hoped he’d pee on the grumpy antisocial man too…

Why am I sharing this? Because it highlights the challenges we face as a society, not knowing the intention of others means we have become guarded, we’ve become overtly aggressive, and in someways sociably inept.. Why on earth would a man take his puppy to a place to be social only to prevent it from actually doing what dogs are supposed to do? It’s not the dogs fear but his own that was most confronting.. Whilst my beautifully trained 47 kg puppy just sat there, and eventually wondered off to play with another dog and pee up more trees… Yes! We have lost our way as a social species… Not that I am saying we should sniff each others butts or pee on each other.. I’m simply saying we’ve lost the ability to read body language and more importantly communicate our intention.. 

When I wrote my last book I spent a lot of time referring to my last relationship and the depth of love I felt for my now ex-partner. An amazing and deeply pure soul, what I realised as I took this journey and spent more time writing this book, was how much I had lost my own way… Impacted by the fear and behaviours of those I’d let influence me. Past relationships and more importantly my own family. It’s not to say my ex-partner was without her own past and difficulties, it’s to say our pasts meant we were not always able to communicate in a space of peace and love.. Letting fear drive outcomes that in truth totally disabled the deeply pure love we both felt for each other, and more importantly creating perception and in the end conflict. Something I still believe we both tried so hard to avoid. What I do know is we both grew and became amazing and loving people after walking as a couple. I for one know my ability to love is much more pure and in a space of happiness now that I’ve completed that journey. It’s also why I wrote the book “the deserving woman” and is still a core part of my inner belief system. 

As for the strange man at the dog park, I put Budda on the leash and we had our normal walk around the market, only to have a couple of complete strangers come up to us and comment on how lovely Budda is and how impacted they were personally by the interaction.. And as I write this book I am forcing my self to remain open to each experience and to look deeply at the choices we make as people, more importantly I’m communicating with more and more people. Which in many ways is a total delight, and I believe I leave each individual feeling touched with my own positivity and hopefully looking at life with a slightly different perspective…  

What else do we have other than hope, it is as I’ve said in previously published articles, the best and last of all things. Hope for all humanity, that in time we will listen to the planet, we have as a species been given a gift, the gift of free thought, to experience life with more than just instincts, the ability to look and understand. This gift must be nurtured and grown, not in a place of conflict but in a place of love, without fear or judgment… Without the need to cast our own opinions on others, but to share our conversations with the right motive. To be the light at the end of the tunnel and to hold on to what should be a more pure motive, the motive of enduring and unconditional love. 

As we close this short chapter in what has become an enduring and compassionate journey of words and experiences, I am pulled back to the opening paragraph and the depth of the words I’ve written, I think long and hard about the innocent souls caught up in a battle of male ego, the Middle East and lives not given the love and respect they deserve. As so called “leaders” of people believe their decisions are the right ones and battles rage… My thoughts wonder to the passengers who were on the pair of air Malaysia flights, and my fellow passengers here and now, my friends, family and those I’ve loved and still love… Life is precious and we must all learn to treat it with the love and respect it deserves. We must all become the light at the end of the tunnel and speak for those less fortunate.. We must learn to listen with the need to understand and to be open to life’s experiences. More importantly to share each connection we make in a place of positivity and enduring hope… 

Touch and love 💕❤️

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Physical Touch Can Be Assuring

Along with quality time, there’s nothing better than getting a hug after a long, trying day. In the times we’re living in, you can’t escape negativity and it’s hard to find joy in the normal. But knowing that you can go home to a warm embrace is invaluable.

Physical Touch Helps To Build Trust

One thing I’ve struggled with in the last few months is consistency. I’ve had way too much start and stop in my personal life. I realize the main reason for that is the lack of attention, or in other words, quality time. It’s difficult to trust someone who is inconsistent with the amount of time they give to you. If they’re stingy with their time, then the physical connection will soon dissipate as well. For me, I know that I’m craving physical touch more lately because I want to vulnerable. I want to trust someone. I want to be myself with someone. That total nakedness is helped through the ability to feel and see each other’s physical reactions.

Physical Touch Doesn’t Lie

The eyes may be the windows to a person’s soul, but a man’s physical touch is hard to deny. I’m a firm believer that men don’t kiss women that they don’t genuinely like. Men don’t cuddle with women they don’t genuinely like and respect. Cuddling is a level of intimacy that denotes a wall the man has let down. We live in a society where men are treated as hunters; we’re expected to view women as prey and thus always want to touch them as means to an end. Although, men can and do suffer from a lack of touch. Sometimes, we just want the safe and warmth of loving physical contact without the expectation of sex.

Understanding pain!

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So… following on from Sunday, the neighbor who hit my car came to see me today… he was less stressed and much more calm… more importantly he was less traumatised too.

he was grateful of the compassion shown and had committed to fixing the vehicle… but what made me feel peace was his gratitude, because by showing him compassion he’s not fallen in a heap and he’s kept his job and committed to getting help too. I feel that from the moment of impact and trauma has come good and possibly for healing for him. His words to me for showing kindness instead of anger towards him have shown me that I was right to take this path with him…

for me, I feel peace, I feel a little better about myself too, I sat for a moment before writing this and just felt the energy in my in my body, it feels good to know I helped someone find a little light in the middle of their darkness and especially just before Christmas…

a car can be fixed, a life where understanding his pain and knowing it can be removed or reduced and understood, that’s priceless 🙏🏼💕 Pete ~ the motive

Love – should be unconditional🙏🏽

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Love should be unconditional: I see you, flaws and foibles and messy parts included and I love and accept how you are today, not at some future point when you are wholly pleasing to me.

Partnership should not: there need to be agreements and plans and compromises in place that benefit the whole in a way that leaves no one “behind”.

Unselfish love is not love that gives up on itself in favor of another; unselfish love is two people 100% committed to the highest and greatest good of each other, NO MATTER WHAT THAT MEANS. Even if it means your partner is not always available to you. Even if it means ultimately, you go your separate ways.

True love, at the end of the day, is all about freedom. Freedom to pursue your highest and greatest good with someone at your side cheering you on all the way. True love is the highest art form utilized by humanity.

You can have a solid partnership without love; you can have love with someone incompatible for partnership. But when you have both, THAT is magic, in spite of bills, taxes and property management. When you have both, you can be one of the lucky few who actually enjoys a “happily ever after.”

“Happily ever after” is two people who laugh at petty annoyances, work together to make the daily grind as smooth as possible and support each other completely in heartbreak and grief. “Happily ever after” is two whole, complete people who accept the other “as is”. “Happily ever after” is a job, but the benefits are absolutely awesome.