Depression! No boarders, it’s a life sucking bastard that isn’t selective… Man, Woman or child… How do we have the conversation? How do we explore the Spiritual nature of those who are lost?


I never knew, I just didn’t, I just accepted that I was dealing with levels of complicated life experiences! I had seen the impacts that trauma and grief cause, and over the journey I had moments where I had learnt to hide my hurt! Or had I?

know that I didn’t understand the emotional roller-coaster that comes with trauma, grief and loss, and the impact that comes from hiding it either. The problem is as a child and adolescent I had experienced these things and learnt to either hide or lie about them. Lie to myself and others. And as other people have written,

Depression is a lie…

But before I open more of myself to this specific form of debilitation and how it impacted me, let us be more humane and explore the reality, this emotional and mental illness has absolutely no borders, no boundaries it will not cross. And the one that totally breaks my heart is Post-natal Depression, and whilst I cannot imagine fully what a mum goes through, I do know the guilt and feeling of despair that comes from the space of darkness that this insidious illness causes.

The reality is we (People) have been tuned out of wanting to understand the issues of mental health, blogs, posts on Instagram and other social media telling us to leave or walk away from people who are broken, but is that right? I can not imagine the impact on a new mum with a baby if the man who loves her just upped and left, if he said the Instagram coaches I follow and the group that follows me says you are broken, and I should dump you!

This language is real, I have seen it read it, and most of all I have experienced it, the feeling of failure as a person, the self-loathing, what if you were a child or a mum with the responsibility if a little life to consider… Society needs to adjust to the truth, the reality that emotional and mental health is critical and labelling someone as “worthless” or “Damaged” is simply not ok… We are talking about people here, mums, dads, sons, daughters, wives, husbands, friends, and family…

I carry a special kind of guilt, because as a person with empathy and understanding, I still allowed my illness to cloud my own judgement, my own actions, and made up stories to hide my depression, why? Because I was so frightened of the judgment of others, the potential that I would not be accepted as a loving and kind human, and person who cares about others… And I would be abandoned again. But to be open and honest right here right now I realised that in living my lie, living the lie of depression I was not actually living at all…

My own experience has been one of awakening, to understand so much more about humanity, and more importantly of the impact of emotional trauma and illness. I no longer see it as a cloud, and I see opportunity to help others through my words, my understanding and my acceptance that we all need love. Understand that those “Social Norms” those judgments and those who post endless posts on forums like Instagram, telling us that broken people should be avoided, that they will bring you down, that they are toxic… those people are numb to the true understanding of compassion…

How is a mum with Anti-natal depression, a soul who’s just spent time in her life growing a little human inside of her not worthy of love and understanding?

How is she toxic?

When is a child who has been emotionally broken shown love if all we can do is say those people with emotional baggage are to be avoided?

We have a responsibility to open our minds, open our hearts, open up to the conversation and have the right motive, and that motive must be compassion and understanding.

We (Those of us who have endured depression) deserve love too, we deserve love as deep as the ocean. Because we have more to offer having walked our journey, because we have compassion and understanding, we see with our hearts not just our eyes.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest Souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. – Khalil Gibran
Although we are all born with Souls, not all of us know how to fully embody them and integrate them into our human experience. The truth is that in our modern world, we live Ego-centrically rather than Soul-centrically.

Mystics, saints, and shamans throughout history have referred to our struggle as humans in different ways – but they all pointed to the need for us to consciously grow into our divine potential.

One of these people was Saint John of the Cross, a Spanish monk who coined the term “Dark Night of the Soul” (“Noche Oscura” the name of one of his poems) based on his own mystical experience.

These days, the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul has come to be used in a much broader way. What was once a term reserved for people actively going through a Spiritual Journey, now has come to easily label anything ranging from a few bad days and a period of depression to the death of a loved one.

After all, the symptoms of the Dark Night of the Soul are not that different from depression. But while depression is psychological/neurological/biological, the Dark Night heralds a deeply occurring change within known as spiritual transformation.

Here are 7 “omens” that you might be going through a Dark Night of the Soul:

1. You feel a deep sense of sadness, which often verges on despair (this sadness is often triggered by the state of your life, humanity, and/or the world as a whole)
2. You feel an acute sense of unworthiness
3. You have the constant feeling of being lost or “condemned” to a life of suffering or emptiness
4. You possess a painful feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness
5. Your will and self-control is weakened, making it difficult for you to act
6. You lack interest and find no joy in things that once excited you
7. You crave for the loss of something intangible; a longing for a distant place or to “return home” again

The ultimate difference between depression and the Dark Night of the Soul is that depression is usually self-centric, whereas the Dark Night is philosophical in nature and is accompanied by existential reflections such as “Why am I here?” and “What is my purpose?”

So, what am I attempting to share? The reality is depression is seen as psychological and once someone even say the words “I am depressed” the reaction of others is to remove themselves. There are many views, and as I stated previously, most of them are embraced on media platforms, including the ones I use myself, however, we must consider the soul, the spiritual essence of humanity and seek an alternative view. We must understand the Dark Night of the soul, the impact our inner voice has and the need for others to lean in and gently guide those who have emotional illness – Pete Bowd ~ The Motive

Author: Only One, But a lion!

Only One; But A Lion! Writer, blogger and explorer of life... Writer, blogger and explorer of humanity-single dad-story teller-giver of hugs... wiper of tears- I am imperfect.. but hope is eternal 💕 Exploring the Motive of Conversation, events, who we are and how to heal from trauma... These are my words, from my soul, bound with hope, love and a willingness to share, to open the minds, hearts and souls of others ~ Hope - it’s the best and last of all things ~ The Motive

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