People do not abandon people they love…

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People don’t abandon people they love…

I read a post today that said – Walk away in silence from people who don’t listen or disrespect your words… Really!?
Now – you may or may not agree with this post.. you may or may not agree with the opinion I share.. and that is ok…
So, is this who we’ve become? Let’s just stand still and consider the quote! The fact that we are all unique, we as a species have been given the gift of free thought and that we have a voice! Yes! We have a voice… and it’s our choice on how big or small that voice is…
There have been many times that I’ve not agreed with someone, something or some kind of event… I absolutely can not agree with the quote… am I being disrespectful by saying that? We are people. We have a point of view and often I’ve found that I have been shown by others that my view can be off centre or even totally wrong… if I became angry or decided that I would Ignore that person and walk away, how would they or I learn. How would we grow?
Yes it’s ok to place room, distance between yourself and those you feel are not healthy for you in your moment of difficulty… but send them on their journey with love…
So… let’s consider my opening quote… people don’t abandon someone they love!!!
In the absolute essence of being honest I’ve made some huge mistakes and have acted in a totally inappropriate way in past moments..  I’ve owned myself and my actions… never blaming others for my decisions. Yes absolutely there were circumstances and influencers that created my lack of emotional stability and even the fact that I experienced depression… but I never let anyone else own my actions… and as many people have told me… that is absolute courage… standing in truth after hitting rock bottom… grief, trauma and pain… all valid reasons not to cope.. and yes I also feel at that stage my energy would have been awful…
And I’ve experienced listening to the opinions of those impacted by trauma too.. some who were bent out of shape and still in a place of anger and revenge… without compassion.. this is a horrible way to live and I pray for healing for those souls… offering compassion and hope that they find peace…
However, I am a loving and compassionate human, a man that cares… I place the needs of others in front of mine… the fact that my emotional failure came from exactly this behaviour is an example of why we should not abandon those we love…
I’ve written other posts about my Journey and I don’t really wish to repeat the same things… but having attempted to take my life I know a thing or two about being abandoned… and the impact it has on a soul… I also know how incredible it feels to have total strangers lean in and offer loving support… yes… total strangers!!!
So… let’s stand still… let’s understand that it’s ok to have boundaries. To have space.. to have specific expectations and to tell people what you need and deserve from them… All of those things are real and true… and we all have a right to them… to have respect…
But! We all have a need to feel compassion, to be and feel loved… you do not need to ignore someone you love, you do not need to abandon them.. if you love them you need to be courageous enough to tell them how their actions are impacting you.. to sit and share how you feel, to honour their grief and trauma whilst setting in place boundaries that keep you both safe…
I’ve experienced giving myself to someone I loved and thought loved me, giving all of myself to their trauma whilst being in my own moment of trauma and failure… I know what it feels like to be abandoned as i faced myself and said -no I will not let define my life…
I’ve been judged for writing about my personal journey… that’s ok, but as I’ve said before, if sharing this saves one life, keeps one soul from taking their life.. then the comments and judgement has been worth it…
The truth is this! – People don’t abandon people they love, they abandon people they were using. ~ The Motive 🙏🏽😔

Author: Only One, But a lion!

Only One; But A Lion! Writer, blogger and explorer of life... Writer, blogger and explorer of humanity-single dad-story teller-giver of hugs... wiper of tears- I am imperfect.. but hope is eternal 💕 Exploring the Motive of Conversation, events, who we are and how to heal from trauma... These are my words, from my soul, bound with hope, love and a willingness to share, to open the minds, hearts and souls of others ~ Hope - it’s the best and last of all things ~ The Motive

One thought on “People do not abandon people they love…”

  1. I’ve definitely been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but I haven’t been as lucky when it comes to love. –Somehow I managed to choose partners who didn’t want what I wanted and no matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t see a future together.

    I had to sit with this and reflect. It was honestly eating at me. I needed to try figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change it because surprise, surprise once again I’d chosen a partner who was not walking with me. Except this time not only was he not walking with me but he was subtly trying to kick my feet from under me every chance he got.

    Again, I’d entered into a relationship desperate to find love and instead found a beautiful disaster. Love is a blessing, this we know. Unrequited love is toxic, and it can eat you alive. I needed this lesson though. It made me open my eyes and my mind and it was at this moment that I realised that it’s ok to walk away from love. If it’s something that’s constantly hurting you it doesn’t require blame or justification. It just requires you to stop fanning the flames! …and that’s exactly what I did. Is it abandonment? Some may say yes. Heck, even he would say I abandoned him. But I opened my eyes and knew I was dealing with an ultimate narcissist. It was finally time I started to look after me and the life I wanted to live!

    In love, I would find myself in sticky situations yet I’d still sit there and pick at the scabs. Believe me, nothing good ever came from this!!! It was time I put my big-girl boots on and stopped the cycles. It was time to let my heart heal. Yes, it was a challenge. Yes, it took time. Yes, it took tears and heartache. But when I sit back and reflect on my journey, I wouldn’t change a thing.

    Something beautiful is out there for me. I feel it deep inside, so I know I’ll find it out there.

    Liked by 1 person

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