Your individuality, your dreams, your hopes, and your trauma deserves to be honoured…. It is your song, you are the composer, it is the music that accompanies your life…

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Your individuality, your dreams, your hopes, and your trauma deserves to be honoured…. It is your song, you are the composer, it is the music that accompanies your life

“There are going to be things that resonate with you. Things that no one else will understand. When it settles in your bones, like it is home, welcome it. You will believe in things that others will think is wrong, but figuring out who you are and what you have faith in is a personal journey. You mustn’t allow anyone to tarnish or plant doubt in the things that bring peace and light to your spirit.” – Stacie. Martin…

The above quote has so much power written deep within its words – we, and I mean all of us on the planet have dreams and hopes. The fact is there will always be times those dreams and hopes are not aligned with the vision or perception of others who are in your personal orbit… The challenge in life is not letting the opinions of others or the words they speak or write about you become your story… I did this, I allowed the noise, stories and words of others to become so powerful I let my own dreams and hopes fade – it is not ok to give others this much power over you… And you can shake off those words and their meaning anytime you are ready – Because they are not your reality, they belong to someone else and those people simply do not know or understand your journey… Only you know how you feel, only you know the thoughts that have settled deep within the marrow of your bones. And only you know what you have had to endure, deal with emotionally and physically as you walk every step of that journey.
Every single one of us deals with their reality in different ways, I learnt over the past years that how hurt settles in the body and mind also impacts our ability to share our story… this is huge, and I mean potentially the most powerful aspect of life. How we translate trauma into a story we feel safe with is a complicated aspect of life. If we have some kind of experience, how we chose to share it is a complex and sometimes impossible journey.
One thing rings true as I now know, trauma, deep trauma is not an easy thing to explain, even more importantly its not somethings people will readily understand. People will judge and you will experience many different responses. Most of all be careful, be careful of who you share these moments with… not because you should not share, not because you must remain closed, but because as you deal with those difficult things, those people you believed cared or loved you, will use them as their reason to leave… This is not just my experience, this is generally how life plays out.
I am not for one minute suggesting that we should not share our deepest dream and hopes, or our most painful moments, I am suggesting that we are careful with the souls we share them with…
“Scott Stabile” says it all in his quote – “Find People who can handle your darkest truths” this is where love and trust reside… because once the honeymoon period is over, and life is evolving for us, we all get to a stage where we want to share all of ourselves, not just the joy, the happiness, but the bits from the dustiest parts of our soul…
Scott’s words resonate with this aspect of life…

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“Find People who can handle your darkest truths, who don’t change the subject when you share your pain, or try to make you feel bad for feeling bad. Find people who understand we all struggle, some of us more than others, and that there is no weakness in admitting it. In fact, few things take as much strength. Find people who want to be real, however that looks and feels, and who want you to be real too. Find people who get that life is hard and who get that life is also beautiful, and who aren’t afraid to honour both of those realities. Find people who help you feel more at home in your heart, mind and body, and who joy in your joy. Find people who love you, for real, and who accept you, for real, just as you are – Scott Stabile…

if I achieve any one thing on this journey of sharing myself with you all, it is the reality that no one has the right to destroy your heart, soul and the spirit within you. To remind you that you are unique and your dreams and hopes mean something, to you, and if you are with someone who loves you it should mean something to them. If I achieve anything here sharing my story, let it be that from my pain, my failures, and my willingness to share from the place deep within my own soul that you – all of you, are able to understand that your dreams and hopes are real, they deserve to be held in a place of honour… and your pain, your trauma is real for you… and as such should also be held in a place of understanding too ~ Leo

Uncomplicated love…

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Uncomplicated love…

Having experienced the complex nature of life and the difficulties we as adults’ layer into our lives, I am left wondering why we all find it so hard to just have uncomplicated love?

It truly is that simple, love can and should be uncomplicated…
The truth is we, and I mean all of us!

We….. have some kind of life-based complications, be it a previous relationship, trauma from childhood, or grief from losing a loved one.

I am not judging anyone when I say that either…

God knows I have made my fair share of lousy mistakes…

And as I have said in other posts, my knees are grazed from falling from grace, and I never said I was an angel…

But we are full of potential! All of us, the potential to learn, to understand and potential to reflect… to be more and to do better… We may find that those we have hurt are not able to forgive us, or maybe they feel that not forgiving means we will walk in more pain? Who Knows?
What I do know and I can tell you is that you… we…. Need to forgive ourselves, the burden of pain is increased when we hold on to guilt, and we force weight of such thoughts and feelings upon ourselves. I spent a long time holding myself responsible for things that were just not my fault… something I think all people do if they have any semblance of self… and regret acts as a fuel for this feeling and behaviour.
So! Uncomplicated love? Well its simple really, to love based on compassion, to be able to forgive for the sake of the soul, to understand that we are perfectly imperfect, that its ok to make mistakes, to listen to a real and pure apology and be willing to understand the person when they explain themselves… but mainly, not to judge what we do not understand… each of us has or carries some kind of special pain, something that is personal to us…

I wrote in a post recently that depression is one of life’s most destructive illnesses, and its also something that people almost immediately judge people for… if someone says, “I have suffered from depression” then you can almost guarantee that at some stage someone will judge them without understanding or being willing to understand… and as I said then, the most brutal example is when a mum suffers “Post-natal depression” the guilt of not feeling well, or connected to their little-one is enough, but to be judged by others at the same time is simply not ok… which is why we must want to uncomplicate love…

The truth is compassion is becoming less of a human trait, the intolerance of emotional illness or acceptance that someone has grief or trauma to navigate is more prevalent now than ever… If you look back at those who we now admire… those men and women who changed perception for good, the reality is at some stage in their lives they made mistakes, they had experiences in life that made them want to be better. Experiences that made them want to change the world for good…

Life changes, we move on, we close chapters and open new ones, but we also love… and sometimes we love with a depth that will mark us for life… should we regret that love? No! not in any moment should we regret… We should take that moment and unwrap it. We should let it sit with us, we should feel it… know we have held it in our hands, kissed, touched and explored it… Most of all… we should celebrate it for what it was… because in the moment of embrace, in its most naked and pure moment of expression it was uncomplicated love ~ The Motive

Being a man!? What does it mean to be a man? We are not perfect…

I hope that those of you who open this blog take a moment to view the video link… reflection… no soul on this planet is perfect. But to try, to own yourself and your mistakes is to be as human as possible… my knees are scraped from the failures I’ve endured… but I am a soul who digs deep and understands compassion.. to love even in the most difficult of times 🙏🏽❤️

New moon, new start… new journey..

There is something special about feeling a new moon bring its energy to the planet… what an amazing feeling… I sat and watched the Luna eclipse… knowing it would bring about change..

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I am sitting at the airport looking out at the full moon… a new journey.. a new light and new energy…

As the moon reaches it zenith tonight I will be sitting looking at it out of the window of my flight… knowing that life has changed and the past negativity is left behind… there is something very powerful about connecting with Luna change… I am at peace 🙏🏽❤️

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Relationships? Complex connections that sometimes have expectations in them that are not true or even real….

 

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Relationship! It’s a complex environment, being in a relationship with others, just look at the current undertones in the world today…

My ability to remain balanced in relationship to others was heavily influenced by the noise and trauma from previous connections. One of my great friends in Italy that i have re-connected with has opened my soul to a different perspective… In conversation over the Christmas break she expressed to me how different i am, how my current persona is…… reserved. I responded to this. Saying that my feelings of regret and ownership of my choices has left me reflecting on the impact my actions have had on others. Interestingly her response felt both difficult to accept and positive in the affirmation of who they know me to be.

My relationships when I raced internationally were based on feeling success, even on those weekends when I’d crash or fail to place. Why? Because i was doing something i loved… The ethos of the conversation over Christmas started to peel this onion, what changed???

Well relationships changed…

I realised as I explored the past relationships with friends and those i felt connected to that i had nothing to prove to them, life in those relationships was simple, share the moment, support each other when things got tough and alway attempt to see the positive.

When did this change? You know, I don’t really know if i can put my finger on it i said, I don’t know if i can isolate it to one time or event, but i am attempting to look at that now… but i can say this. Relationships are complex, and they need all kinds of love, all kinds of conversations, and if we are already broken when we enter them we are left struggling to simply be ourselves. So I sat and listened to my friends, after I’d spent hours telling them my own story, the complicated parts of life that I’d created for myself and let others create for me…

Why had i remained married to a person i was not emotionally or spiritually connected to, that was a difficult conversation. Money? Mainly financial i think, the part of me that didn’t want someone else to struggle because a relationship had failed. But we do this… we (people) argue about money, about what (we) built whilst together.. yet when the “shit” hits the fan it also complicates life… this was something i felt stuck in, a space i was not able to extract myself from either… until now… until life was pulled apart in such a way that it could never be put back together in the same way again.

I “realised that this was my reason for such “outlandish” behaviour, to force change, to lose something so precious that it would finally make me shift my own perspective… and in that moment came clarity… in loss comes the freedom to become what ever we need to be to be free….

Days of loving support and gentle conversation between life long friends opened my soul and heart again, I finally forgave myself for the pain, the trauma and for not being fully emotionally available to others… When real friends gently lean in, when they say we still love you and understand why you have struggled and made those mistakes… those moments allow you to forgive yourself too…

The freedom to move on is so important, and as i begin my new journey and close the chapters that hold the fear and trauma of my past, i look back at the good stuff too, I am excited to be looking out to the horizon and feeling peace… sometimes we must ask what relationships mean to us, are we holding on to them or can we let them go… some we will let go of easily, some we will mourn for a lifetime… some we hold hope that in some way they will remain in our orbit… my friends reminded me that we had spent years in different parts of the world, and years not in contact, but over the past months we have reminded each other that our bond is one of great experiences and love…

Relationship? Complex connections that sometimes have expectations in them that are not true or even real…. and sometimes they have potential to become so deep they can endure life on every single level, even when you’ve made some big and horrible mistakes… i found that owning your own mistakes helps, and letting go of things others have done to you brings happiness….

Time heals us all, and in time comes the ability to rationalise life…. I fly out of Australia on Monday, a huge event in my own life, and one that will be quietly experienced as i walk through passport control and leave for my next adventure ~ The Motive

A kiss, the depth of love is found in the truth of a kiss ~ a kiss just doesn’t lie❤️

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A kiss, the depth of love is found in the truth of a kiss. No amount of deception, miss understanding or noise can be lost in a kiss, the eyes tell us everything going on with the soul… but a kiss tells us everything going on with the heart and love…

Loves true kiss….

I lost my way, I fell from grace, the pain and anguish could be seen on my face, the vision of loss and the trauma of life, the feeling of loss felt as sharp as a knife. Plunged into my heart as a child not knowing, miss guided by life, falling not growing.

I lost my way, not seeing truth in the dark, loosing my faith in the strength of my heart. The noise from my past making me run, angry with pain at the person I’d become, knowing eventually the lies would feel numb.

I lost my way, but I’d hoped I’d find light, eventually knowing what’s wrong and what’s right. The feeling of loss and abandoning trust, into the darkness as a child I was to easily thrust. No hand to hold mine to bring calm to my mind, the truth of alone in this moment I’d find.

Eventually love held by hope shines a light, asking your soul and your heart to do now what is right, to put down all of the pain and the hurt from the past, to stand in loves full embrace with a kiss that will last…

I lost my way, but her kiss restored love, in a moment I knew she was an angel from above… her kiss an awakening of hearts lost in fear, but now in the moment finally here. As souls become one and as a kiss melts the heart… loves true embrace is only the start… her kiss felt so real from the moment we met, and for all of the difficulties I shall never regret…

I lost my way, but that was the past… I didn’t know then that the pain wouldn’t last. But her kiss was so real and the love shone a light… no other kiss will ever feel right… I remember her kiss from that very first night ~ The Motive

Uniquely human…

 

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Seven billion souls walk this island we call a planet… as we navigate our journey we are bound to encounter the complicated aspects of life, mostly based on relationships. I was reminded today that relationships have multiple corners and are layered based on everything we experience as individuals…

who are we to judge others? On what basis should we have the ability to just look at a person or even spend a moment with them and then judge? We are all unique in our humanness, each experiencing life on individual levels… every soul enduring trauma.

We are conditioned to hide from the difficult conversation! To explore excuses or to fabricate in order to protect ourselves or others.

I have learnt recently that owning yourself and your actions means life will often become more complicated. But what if that complication leads to feeling free of the weight of not knowing yourself.

We are as I’ve said unique… we seek forgiveness because we must feel. We seek compassion because we must coexist with the other souls that walk our planet.

In the past year I have experienced much of what life has to throw at a soul. And in the end it’s made me more understanding, less judgemental and has given me a level of wisdom that I would otherwise not have had… it as humanised me… and for that I am deeply grateful…

“we are what we chose to create” ~ The Motive 🙏🏽❤️